


The Beginnings of Despair

by spacedaydreamer



Series: safe end!vlr au [3]
Category: Zero Escape (Video Games), Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward - Fandom
Genre: Gen, anyways it's the magenta door route which means cyan for our protag, dun dun duuun., it's tagged major character death but it's moreso just finding the body, or do you?, safe end!junpei au, safe end!vlr au, warning for suicidal thoughts/talking about suicide, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 07:13:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedaydreamer/pseuds/spacedaydreamer
Summary: It seemed like for every semblance of a good thing that happened to Junpei, something ten times worse was bound to happen. His was a life that was doomed to misfortune, it would seem... misfortune, and despair.





	1. Chapter 1

“—Luna! You’re with me!”

Sigma grabbed onto her arm and started off in a sprint for the magenta door, leaving everyone else to quickly arrange themselves. Junpei took hold of Quark’s wrist and started running, not bothering to check if Dio was going to follow. If he wanted to live, then he’d know enough to get to the cyan door, and quick.

“Three… two… one… Chromatic doors closing.”

The masculine voice from the speakers rang out as the three of them ducked into the door last-second, all breathing heavy from exertion.

“Well, this’s great. Stuck with an old geezer and a kid. Soooo much fun.”

Dio leaned up against a wall with his arms crossed, and Junpei scowled. Just what the hell was his deal? Ok sure, some resentment was understandable if you were stuck in a game like this, but it was hardly like Junpei wanted to be stuck with him either.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. We’ve just gotta get through this area.”

The secondary door took a moment to open, but when it finally did it allowed them to spill out into a narrow hallway. There was something just vaguely familiar about it, a cold and narrow hallway with dark, near-empty rooms… but Junpei couldn’t place his finger on why. Perhaps it was from a timeline far removed, or just something he’d seen and forgotten- however, it hardly mattered.

“There was a thing on the door. It said ‘crew’s quarters’, right Grandpa?”

“Yep. If this’s a warehouse, I bet this’s where the people who ran it lived.”

“Great, who cares. Look, I’ll just take this room, ok? You guys take those two.”

Dio lazily tossed some of his hair over his shoulder, heading for the nearest room. Junpei frowned but headed out to the second one, Quark following after. Upon entering he closed the door tightly as he could, before noting a fold-out bed from the wall. It was simple to set it up, so he did so before getting Quark to sit down on it.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Grandpa? I’m totally fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep!” Quark grinned and nodded, but Junpei could see a hint of fear in his eyes. It was only natural, he was just a child- but it tore at Junpei’s heart. He didn't deserve to be put through this... “You don’t have to worry about me, ok? I’m a tough kid, you say so yourself!”

“Yeah…. Yeah, you’re right. You’re the toughest kid out there.”

“Mhm!” Quark hopped off the bed, taking a couple wide steps before turning to look at Junpei. “But… are _you_ really ok, Grandpa? There wasn’t anyone named Aoi… wasn’t that why you agreed to come?”

“Don’t you go worrying yourself over that, Quark. Aoi’ll be here, he’s probably just hiding out somewhere. He can be pretty good at hiding, when he wants to be.”

“…alright…”

Quark didn’t look like he believed him, but Junpei didn’t have anything else to convince him. He was just certain that Aoi was here- he _had_ to be here. There was nothing else that made sense, really.

It took the two of them about a half hour to figure out the puzzles in their room, the time extended slightly from Dio’s lack of motivation. He’d offer a hand here or there, but it looked like he had it out for Junpei for whatever reason. He had no idea _why_ Dio seemed to hate him, but hey. Junpei wasn’t here to make friends. Quark did his best to give him a hand instead, but for as hard as he tried he wasn’t the fastest at puzzle solving. The effort _was_ appreciated though, and his jokes and comments kept Junpei’s spirits up while he went through the rooms.

It was after they’d opened the safe to pull out a map and some supplementary rules that Dio pulled a book from the top, squinting at it with disdain.

“Schrödinger’s… cat? What, does it die at the end, or something?”

“It’s a quantum physics thought experiment.” Junpei sighed and crossed his arms, trying his best to remember the explanation. He’d never been a physicist, and the very few things he knew came from the book that’d given him the idea for Quark’s name. It had always been _interesting_ , just… a little bit dense for him. “If I’m remembering right, it basically explains how until you observe something, it exists in every state at once. Like, if we flipped a coin, but covered it with a cup before any of us saw what it landed on, it exists as both heads _and_ tails, until we observe it.”

Dio just rolled his eyes, and Quark seemed entirely lost. Junpei hardly had any _better_ explanation to give, though- he hardly understood this stuff himself.

“Well, it doesn’t matter. We’ve got the keys, let’s just go.”

“Finally, you say something I can _agree_ with.”

It was Junpei’s turn to roll his eyes, sighing for what felt like the millionth time and leading the way to the door. It was simple to unlock, and they all piled out into the hall- nearly running into Alice, K, and Nona, who’d been inspecting it.

“Oh! Carlos, Quark, Dio!” Nona smiled when she realized what was going on, nodding quickly to them all. “So, this is what’s behind the cyan door?”

“Yeah, it’s just a bunch of little rooms. The crew’s quarters, it said. But there’s no point going back, lets keep moving forwards.”

Nobody had any objections to Dio, so the group took off at a sprint down the hallway. Junpei held back slightly to make sure Quark didn’t get left behind, but he was an active kid. He looked like he was in better shape than _Junpei_ was, to be quite frank- probably those young bones, he joked to himself.

“Hey, is that… everyone!”

Luna, Sigma, and Phi were all at the end of the hallway, standing in front of an elevator. The group quickly decided to move down the elevator to see what was there, but no luck- they were chromatic doors, and they were gonna be locked up tight for another two hours. At this point they realized there was nothing else to do but share information and play the AB game, so they quickly made for the warehouse. They’d taken the route through the lounge that Sigma, Phi, and Luna had gone through, Junpei only pausing when Quark pointed towards a bottle on the wall.

“Grandpa, look! It’s some of your favourite scotch!”

“Oh ho, really…? Well, that’s tempting, but I don’t really think now’s the time.” Junpei chuckled and gave Quark’s shoulder a squeeze. As great as having a drink sounded, he _really_ didn’t think that getting drunk during a nonary game was a good idea. However, if he managed to get nine BP, then _maybe_ … “Let’s go, buddy. Soon as we get out of here, I can drink all the scotch I want. And I promise, I’ll get you more root beer floats than you could dream of.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“But… is that ok? Do you… do you have enough for that?”

He just smiled, shaking his head. Such a responsible child… Junpei had no idea how Quark’d ended up like that, with _him_ as his father.

“Oh, ye of little faith. I found a whole factory of rare earth metals the other day, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Sigma was staring at them with an odd look on his face, but the rest of the group had moved on. Just what was he thinking? There were times that he was incredibly simple to read (those being any time he was looking at a girl), and yet there were others where it was near-impossible to get a good idea of what he was thinking. In the end, it was a waste of time to really wonder what was going on in Sigma’s head- his weird attitude just made him far too confusing.

“We’re getting left behind, let’s go.”

The three of them returned to the group just as Zero started talking again, missing out on what looked to be an argument with Dio. He started rambling on about the ‘ambidex game’ for a short while, but he insisted on everyone entering an AB room. Junpei walked towards the rightmost room, but found himself freezing- why did something feel… off? It was like when you moved your furniture just a few inches to the left. It wasn’t _wrong_ , not _entirely_ , and yet something felt off.

Was he just overthinking this?

Junpei didn’t have time to think about it, a scream breaking him out of his thoughts. It was low and hoarse- Sigma?

“Sigma? What the hell’s happening?!”

Junpei ran over, and he felt his heart stop.

There was a body in the AB room, but it wasn’t just any body. It was impossible. This was _impossible_. He couldn’t be, there was no way- It couldn’t be him. There was no _way_ that it could be him. They hadn’t seen each other in _years_ , he probably looked _incredibly_ different, just like Junpei did-

But then Sigma rolled the body onto his back, and Junpei saw something impossible that could only belong to _him_ , hanging off a delicate silver chain from his neck. Junpei knew he’d never given it to Aoi. He’d lost it during the Dcom experiment, and there was _no possible way_ that he could’ve given it to him. However, here it was again, staring at him. A small amethyst pendant, one that he’d picked out as an apology for Aoi over 45 years ago.

This was Aoi Kurashiki.

Aoi Kurashiki was dead.

Junpei could hardly hear the other participants moving about, not reacting when Sigma picked up the body to carry it- no, _him!_ Aoi wasn’t an it, he was a him. ‘It’ was… ‘it’ was too final. First Akane, then Carlos, and now Aoi… everyone that Junpei loved, had died. They’d all been taken from him, without him being able to do _anything_.

“Carlos? Sir, are you alright?”

Junpei blinked only once as Alice spoke to him, brushing her off without a word and heading towards the infirmary with the rest of them. Luna had taken Quark there, and everyone else was there as well- Junpei didn’t want to let Quark out of his sight any longer. Whoever’d murdered Aoi could go for _him_ , next.

Murder.

The word echoed in his mind, making his body feel like lead. Yes, Aoi had been murdered. But, who was it? Junpei trusted Quark and Nona, and he doubted Alice would kill someone she deemed a stranger- but Sigma, Phi, Luna, Dio, and K- all of them could’ve been the culprit. Any one of them could’ve murdered Aoi.

He hardly paid attention to their talking in the infirmary, just making sure to keep Quark far away from Aoi’s body. He didn’t need to see that, no child needed to see that. There was so much blood...

_Why had this happened?_

No matter how long and hard he thought, he was certain there’d be no answer.

Luna’s scan determined that the cause of death was a stab wound to the chest, although it was fairly obvious just from sight. Once you’d been stabbed to death a few times, you got to know what it looked like; a familiar yet unpleasant sensation. He briefly wondered if there was a timeline where it'd been  _him_ instead of Aoi, but instantly dropped that line of thinking. Yes, he hated this, but there was  _no way_ that he could wish for a timeline where he'd died. If he was hurt this badly by finding Aoi's body, then he could only imagine how bad it would hurt Quark if  _he'd_ died...

People began throwing about accusations, first towards K, and then towards the rest of the group. Nobody could trust anyone… Junpei certainly wasn’t going to be trusting anyone. If he followed K’s argument, then Zero- Zero _Sr._ \- had murdered Aoi. That hardly made sense when he considered what he knew, though. The chances of Aoi having worked on this project were astronomically high, which meant he’d known Zero.

Then, there was no _way_ that Zero would kill Aoi unless that was a necessary part of the plan. No, more likely than not, this was the work of someone _else_ , someone who’d killed Aoi for a reason that Junpei couldn’t possibly comprehend. It was impossible for him to understand- how could _anyone_ kill Aoi? Perhaps directly after the nonary game he could’ve understood a motive, but not _now_. It had been 45 years since Aoi had done anything wrong, there was no reason for anyone to kill him. One thing was certain, though: when he found out who it was, he’d kill them. It didn’t matter who’d done it. Junpei _would_ kill them, or die trying.

“Ten minutes remain until ambidex game polling closes.”

The voice came over the speakers, a cold reminder of their “game”. Junpei _hated_ this, he didn’t _want_ to leave Aoi’s side, but he knew that staying would be stupid. They had no idea what potential repercussions there could be for abstaining, so he had to go.

His footsteps were somehow even heavier this time, trudging slowly back to the AB room. He entered and hit the button to lock the door without saying a single word to anyone, ignoring Quark’s worried call to him. Quark would be fine, he’d be perfectly fine- but _he_ needed to talk to Zero Jr.

“Why is Aoi dead.”

“I donno.”

“ _Bullshit!_ Tell me _right fucking now_ , _WHY IS AOI DEAD?!_ ”

“Owch Tenmyouldy, You’re gonna blow my eardrums out!”

“Shut the fuck up with that bullshit, you’re a program. Stop playing me a damn fool and talk.”

“Alright, fine. I’ll tell you…. iiiif, you decide to tell them who you are, ‘Carpe’.”

“You- that’d be suicide! You fucking _bastard_ , are you just _playing-_ “

“Uuuuuugh, would you shut _up_ already? Look, I’ve gotta deal with nine of you all yelling at me at the same time, I can’t process this all at once. How’sabout _you_ shut up, and I tell you what’s gonna happen, m’kay? No answers for anybunny!”

Junpei scowled and clenched his fists, but didn’t say a word. As much as he hated to admit it, he didn’t really have a choice- he needed to learn what was going on. The rules to the game were simple, and uncomfortably familiar. Why did he feel like he _knew_ this?

And… why did he feel like he knew what was going to happen?

Well in the end, it hardly mattered. Even if Junpei didn’t like Dio, there was no way he could pick betray against Quark. He knew it was unlikely, but there was a _chance_ he’d be able to convince Dio to pick ally- even if it made him a fool, he couldn’t pick betray. There was no way be could _ever_ betray his son.

Junpei walked out of the AB room over to the announcement board, finding exactly what he’d expected. He’d been betrayed- of course he had. Could he have ever _really_ expected something different? Still, if it got Quark up to six BP… then Junpei didn’t mind. He wanted to get out of here, with Quark, but if it had to be the one of them… he’d pick Quark in a heartbeat.

“G-Grandpa? Y-you-“ Junpei just sighed, doing his best to push off all the sadness of the last forty-five minutes. “That’s- _Mr. Dio!_ ”

Quark turned on him with a glare, his fists clenched tightly.

“You _tricked_ me! You said you’d pick ally!”

“Oh please, as _if_. You were _happy_ to pick betray, weren’t you? Little _brat_.”

“Wh-what?!”

“Listen to me, Carlos. This little demon _told_ me to pick betray. Figured there was no way you’d hit betray against him, he just wanted to get a few quick points. ‘ _That old fart’s lived a good life, but it’s time for him to go’_ , were his words.”

“ _You **bastard!** You’re lying! Stop **lying!**_ ”

“Hey there now, Quark. That’s enough.” Junpei pulled him away from Dio, squatting down to look him in the eye. “How long have I known you now? I could be deaf and blind, and I’d still know if you were lying to me. Just calm down, alright?”

The boy still looked like he was about to cry, but he nodded. There was a quiet rage burning in his eyes, and Junpei was really starting to feel much the same about Dio- but now wasn’t the time.

“O-Ok…”

Dio tried to ‘scare’ Junpei, but he didn’t even bother responding to it. There was no point, it’d only get them riled up for no reason. He decided to instead just take Quark’s hand, and lead him back over to the screen. Everyone else seemed to be finishing up their own discussions, looking to Zero Jr. for answers.

He explained how they’d need new key cards, and the penalty for getting zero (or less) BP. It wasn’t really unexpected, although he felt Quark squeeze his hand when Zero Jr. said ‘ _death_ ’ in that annoyingly sing-song voice. At the very least he and Quark had been paired up together, both of them magenta. And better yet, Dio was a pair as well- which meant it was impossible for the three of them to go through one door. He _did_ feel a little bad for Phi, getting stuck with that asshole… but he had a feeling that she was more than capable of holding her own.

The solos this time were K, Luna, and Nona… Junpei would really rather not go with K, and given a choice between Luna or Nona, he’d pick Nona. If it was just him, Quark, and her, he could even consider telling her the truth… or at the very least, he could make sure she was doing all right. She _had_ been like a sister to him at one time, after all- even if he couldn't get close, he'd hope he could keep her safe.


	2. Chapter 2

After Zero Jr. left to (thankfully) never be seen again, they all decided to split up. They were going to search for other exits, or hidden passageways, and Junpei picked the crews quarters. Quark had said something to him about splitting up; Junpei only nodded, finding himself caught up in thoughts.

He felt like _something_ was telling him to go back, to look at Aoi’s body… but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to get anywhere _near_ him. And yet, the closer back to the crew’s quarters he got, the more that nagging feeling _grew_. It was as if someone was telling him that there was something important, something insisting that ignoring the body would be a bad idea- but the last time he’d listened to a thought like that, Akane had died. There was only one person left that mattered to Junpei now, and if listening to his gut was what seemed to kill the people he loved, then he’d have to make sure he didn’t listen to it. Besides, there was something he needed to get from the crew’s quarters. This would probably be the only time he’d be able to grab it subtly enough, and it’d be good to have a ‘trump card’, if needed…

Nona (and Luna too) were there when he got to the crew’s quarters, but it was better if they didn’t speak much. It was still too risky; plus, it could get her hurt. Junpei didn’t know how exactly, but it _could_ get her hurt. He was certain of it.

They split up and started to search, Junpei taking one of the rooms and looking around absentmindedly after he picked a certain part up. He was just glad to finally be _alone_ , he needed time to think. To _process_. He hadn’t been able to really react since discovering Aoi’s death, and certainly hadn’t had any time to mourn. Everything was just… it was all moving far too fast. Far too fast for an old man to take it all in, that was for certain.

“Huh… so, these’re the crew’s quarters?”

He turned around when he heard the voice, finding Sigma talking out loud to himself.

“Yeah. So? What’re you doing here.”

“Whoa man, don’t need to bite my head off. I’m just searching.”

“Ok, great. You’ve searched. Now, you can go search _somewhere else_.”

Sigma folded his arms, unimpressed.

“What the hell happened to you, man? Ever since we found that old man’s body, you’ve been acting crazy weird.”

_Old man-_ Junpei wanted to scream, he wanted to shout, he wanted to tell everyone that said ‘old man’ was _Aoi Kurashiki_ , and to tell them to use his _name_ , but he couldn’t. Instead he settled for scowling, glaring at Sigma the best he could.

“Oh yeah? You sure that’s not just all in your head?”

“Uhh…” Sigma blinked his one eye slowly, looking around the room before seeming to make up his mind. “ _Well_ then, uh, let’s move on to a different topic. You and Quark… is he your grandkid?”

“What’s it to you? Why the hell do you care?”

“Why th- he keeps calling you grandpa, of _course_ I’d wanna know! That’s not just something you go around calling strangers.”

“Are you upset he’s not calling _you_ grandpa?”

“Wh-wh-what?! Why the hell- no, of course not! Why the hell would some kid be calling _me_ grandpa?” Sigma quickly raised his arms as if to defend himself, but it was enough to solidify something for Junpei. He still didn’t know _why_ , but there was something _odd_ about Sigma’s mind… perhaps it was some amnesia that cut out part of his memories, or perhaps it was something else, ~~(no, it couldn’t be _that_ ,)~~ but there was something very strange about Sigma. “Look, I’m just trying to find a bit of _meaning_ in this madness! All of us’re kidnapped and taken here, and none of us know why. I’m just trying to put everything together, that’s all.”

“…” There was no time to give an actual response, because Nona and Luna both burst into the room at that moment.

“Oh, Sigma! you’re here!”

Nona looked a bit surprised, walking forwards with a smile on her face. It looked like she and Luna had hit it off fairly well- that was nice. Hopefully, an extra friend would be good for Nona.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, I just figured that it’d just be Carlos and Luna here, not you too.”

“Well jeez, I can leave…”

“R-really, it’s fine.” She gave an awkward laugh, and turned to look at Junpei. “Did you find anything suspicious in here, Carlos?”

“Nope.”

“Same here… and Luna, it was the same with you, right?”

“Yes… although, I suppose you could say this whole _facility_ is suspicious, right?”

Luna and Sigma started talking, with Sigma starting to get worked up over the idea of the nonary game. He could see Nona fidgeting, and he hardly felt comfortable either- there was no _way_ he could explain what he knew, not _here_.

“Well, this is just a theory, but… perhaps this was all set up for the rich and powerful, to sit back and watch while we run around and play this ‘game’.”

He knew that Luna meant no harm, but her guess was a bit too close to home. She was right, in a way- he’d learnt a long time ago from Seven how the nonary game had _started_ as something basically like that. Hongou’d taken the idea and played around with it a bit, then he’d used it to murder Akane… and then she’d used it to try to save herself.

And he’d failed.

It was ancient history by this point, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. If anything, the pain was as fresh as the day of the second nonary game, after finding Aoi’s body like that. It hurt just as fresh and raw as it’d hurt back when he’d held onto Akane’s body in the chapel, watching her life fade before his eyes.

“Zero… that _bastard_ just killed him off for kicks, then? He just decided to up and murder A- that old man for _fun?_ ” He’d almost slipped up, but it didn’t look like any of them had noticed. He was getting too angry… “Or, murdering him was _always_ part of Zero’s plan. From the very beginning, he was going to die. Is that it?”

Even if Junpei didn't really believe that it was Zero who'd killed Aoi, that didn't make it any better. It was still Zero who'd allowed Aoi to stay here while the game was happening- which meant that in some ways, Zero was at least complicit with the murder. And when he looked at it like  _that_ , it was really no different than Zero himself being the killer.

“C-Carlos…” Nona’s voice was soft, and she was giving him an odd look. It was the look that she’d always had when she was deep in thought, one that Junpei’d gotten to know quite well in the time that he’d lived with her. Why now, though? “Well, um, we should just focus on finding a way out, right? Staying trapped here is good for none of us…”

“Talking about that, it’s time to go.”

“Time to-“

Junpei didn’t wait for Sigma to finish his thoughts, pushing past him out into the hallway. They needed to get to the elevators, and to the chromatic doors- there were only four minutes left. They all set off at a run, not running into anyone else while there- it took the door a moment to open, meaning everyone else was probably already on the bottom floor. One quick elevator trip proved him right, a group of angry faces staring at them.

“Where _were_ you? Were you trying to get me _killed?!_ ”

Alice looked furious with Sigma, but Phi hardly paid her any mind. She dealt out the potential pairings while the chromatic doors slid open, everyone doing their best to ignore the announcements reminding them of their limited time. Everyone was arguing, nobody could decide anything- when _it_ happened.

Quark collapsed to his knees, a distant look in his eyes. It was a look Junpei knew far too well- it was the look of someone who’d been infected.

Infected with _radical-6_.

“It’s… it’s all over. This is it. We’re all going to _die_.”

“Quark, what’s wrong?”

“No… no, that’s not it. We aren’t _going_ to die. We _have_ to die. We _have_ to die here. _All_ of us.”

“No… no… snap out of it, kid! C’mon Quark, get a grip!” Junpei started shaking him by the shoulders, but he knew it was pointless. If he was talking like this, then it was too late. It was too late for him to do anything. Quark was infected, he’d caught radical-6… _why? Why him?_ “Please, Quark! Talk to me!”

“I’m.. I’m fine. _You’re_ the crazy ones. All of you… all of you…”

He was staring up at Junpei, but it was clear he didn’t see him. His brow was glistening with sweat and it was obvious that he had a fever, insanity swirling in his eyes- _why Quark? For the love of whatever cruel fucking gods were out there, **why Quark?!**_

“You’re getting so serious about this stupid _game…_ we should just… _stop_. Die. We all have to die. We have to die now.”

“Quark, just-“ Junpei clenched his fists and grabbed Quark, lifting him up as he’d done so many times when he was younger. His body was shaking, but Junpei knew that it wasn’t for any good reason- more likely than not, he was close to displaying that inhumane strength that victims always got when they tried to kill themselves. “ _Dammit!_ We don’t have time for anymore bullshit arguing! Someone just pick- I don’t give a fuck who I go with!”

“Sigma, please— pick!”

It was Luna, for some strange reason insisting on him once again. Nobody was phased by it this time though, everyone just waiting for him to speak. Junpei’s breath was caught in his throat, waiting for Sigma to make the choice- he needed to _hurry_. There was no time, no time, _no time._

“Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger. I know, I'm evil. However, they are necessary so that I can make things flow they way I have planned (and I promise I do have a plan), so please bear with me xD  
> I do hope that you all enjoyed the fic, however!
> 
> I have no idea how consistent the writing is going to be, just because VLR requires a lot of jumping between branches, but I'm pretty sure I can get two on this branch right away (even if teeeechnically, I'm not supposed to get a certain lady's ending yet). And even if not, I've got my 100% file on my 3ds still, so it's not exactly a huge holdup, haha.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! The next one is really one of the big 3 endings I've been looking forwards to doing, so I hope you'll all be excited as well.


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